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I
am in love with Jesus! |
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"I am in love with Jesus Christ! All I want is to know
Him more." When it registered in my mind exactly what was coming out of my
mouth, I knew that for me to be saying this what quite out of character. I could
only imagine what others were thinking when they heard me talking in this
bizarre way. But I could’ve cared less. I had actually experienced an up-close
and personal encounter with the true and living God, and I couldn’t wait to
tell everyone in my life about it! "He's alive! He's really real! And best
of all, He loves me, even me!". The idea that I was so completely loved by
Someone, just the way I was, was the most precious, yet profound revelation of
my life.
Growing up in the 60's and 70's was challenging enough for any adolescent.
But, as numerous of us have experienced, living in a family where one parent is
drowning in alcohol and the other parent is enmeshed in the alcoholic's
behavior, does make life particularly difficult. As children, we had little of
our emotional needs met. Having a sense of security and certainty was foreign to
us. I acted out my deficiencies in reckless, careless behavior that was marked
by drug and alcohol abuse and rebellion against authority. My poor parents were
certainly not skilled in helping me through any of this and my troubles only
caused them to drown deeper into their pain.
After years of
attempting to fill the voids in my heart with inappropriate behavior and
relationships, God demonstrated His mercy toward me by drawing me to Himself as
I cried out to Him in my pain one night. Suddenly, my heart was filled with
immeasurable peace. All sense of fear and confusion was instantly gone as I
found myself enveloped in His presence. I could hear Him softly speaking to me
in my mind, "I'll never leave you. I'll be with you always. I love
you." I knew this was Jesus Christ talking to me and as I received His
comfort, I felt as if He were actually stroking my head in compassion and great
love for me. He loved me, just as I was. I was hooked. His everlasting love and
devotion to one such as I was irresistible and demanded my commitment, which was
instantly given with no hesitations on my part. I rose from my knees a brand
new, young woman. Forgiven of my sins, He made me clean, fresh and whole. I was
given a changed, tender heart filled with love for my newfound Savior and
Friend. He actually gave me a new life.
With this new found love came a tremendous gratitude toward God which caused my
life to dramatically change in style and pursuits. Life had new meaning and
there was real purpose for living. I began to attend church services with my
brother and his family, and participated in a Bible study group with other new
Christians led by the Pastor's wife. I began learning about who God was and
about my relationship with Him. God's Word became like basic food for me. He
revealed more and more of Himself to me as I studied it. I was truly a "new
creature in Christ." Old desires, habits, and affections were replaced with
an intense endeavor to know God in all of His fullness. I now belonged to Him,
and because of Christ He had made me into a child of the Almighty God.
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"Peace I leave with you; My peace I give you; I do not give to you as the
world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled, and do not be afraid."
(John 14:27 NIV)
"No one can come to Me unless the Father who sent Me draws him;" (John
6:44a NKJ)
"as newborn babes, desire the pure milk of the word, that you may grow
thereby, if indeed you have tasted that the Lord is good." (I Peter 2: 2-3
NKJ)
"Do not labor for the food which perishes, but for the food which endures
to everlasting life, which the Son of Man will give you, because God the Father
has set His seal on Him. " (John 6:27 NKJ)
"Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation- old things have
passed away; behold, all things have become new." (11 Corinthians 5:17 NKJ)
"But as many as received Him, to them He gave the right to become children
of God, to those who believe in His name: who were born, not of blood, nor of
the will of the flesh, nor of the will of man, but of God." (John 1: 12, 13
NKJ)
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